The enemy: Fear

What do you do when things don’t seem to be working? Do you keep trying ? Or do you convince yourself that you don’t want it anymore? Because that’s what I do. Sometimes, I blame it on fate too. But I guess you couldn’t really say something is fated to not work out, especially if you didn’t even try hard enough to make it work.

I’m pretty ambitious

Did I say pretty? Pretty isn’t quite the word. It doesn’t emphasize my thirst for success. I’m extremely ambitious. Sometimes, it’s scary- and I believe, unrealistic.

I’m quite a careless dreamer, but what did they say about disappointment? Something about getting disappointed several times could kill your zeal. Nobody actually said that though, It’s just what I think has happened to me.

Now, you could tell me nothing is impossible, but I’d tell you pushing the limits are destructive. Do I really believe that? Or is it just something I say to convince myself that I don’t want certain things anymore? Do you do that too?

Lately, I’ve  been setting a lot of goals. Although, it’s so hard to choose what path to tread sometimes, even when I know I want to do many things. When I hear other people’s stories though, I get moved to work harder and I believe God has my back.

I should put in more effort though (sighs) instead of being scared. And you should too. Fear does nothing good. These days, I’m starting to get some clarity - but just once in a while, I drift into my bottomless hole of confusion. Did I mention I’m in that hole now? Once again, staring at my notepad, utterly confused about everything.

Heyy, how’s your day going? Did it rain there today? Well, it did here. It seems the rainy season is back and I’m happy. We’ve really had enough of the sun by now. By the way, I’ve been stuck on ayra and oxlade’s ‘How many times’ Have you listened?